Gay Sex

/Gay Sex

How To Give Good Head

February 25th, 2012|

Question: What do you think are the most important things to know about giving good head?   —  wondering     The most important thing about giving head?  The person you’re giving it to!  I mean, really.   You don’t want to waste good technique on a guy with a face that could stop a clock. […]

When Your Boyfriend Has A Higher Sex Drive Than You Do

February 3rd, 2012|

Q: My boyfriend has a much higher sex drive than I do.  It’s a constant source of conflict.  He feels rejected and I feel harassed.   Lately, I’ve been so frustrated I’ve taken to yelling at him to leave me alone.  I know that’s wrong but I need some guidance here.  What’s the best way of [...]

Sex Gifts For The Vanilla In Us

January 26th, 2012|

Q: I want to surprise my boyfriend for our one-year anniversary with a sex-related but fairly tame gift.  He’s as vanilla as they come so I can’t be doing anything raunchy.  Any suggestions?   --  Gift guesser   Dear Guesser: Vanilla, you say?  I suppose that leaves out any products from Divine Interventions.  They’re the [...]

How To Bottom Without Pain Or Stains Hits Kindle’s Top 10!

January 5th, 2012|

My latest book, How To Bottom Without Pain Or Stains landed on Kindle's Top 10 Sex eBooks.  Chelsea Handler is #1 with her sex memoir.  Watch out, Chelsea, I'm coming up behind you!   You can check it out here if you have a Kindle. And here if you want to download it as a [...]

How To Get A Trick To Cuddle

December 23rd, 2011|

Q: This boorish trick came by on a Sunday afternoon.  What a clod.  He was dressed and headed for the door before the cum had even begun to coagulate on the sheets.  I mean, hold me for God’s sakes!  He was up and standing right away, and I’m like, please, relax on the bed, let me get you a warm towel, you know?  And besides, you’re dripping on the hardwoods.   So my question is, how do you get a trick to just stay put long enough to have some post-coital snuggling?  I don’t want to marry the guy, I just want to be held and do some playful touching. —     Touch & Go Dear Touch: I’m right there with you, babe.  There’s something so delicious about holding a man after sex, to feel smothered by his body as your mind gently drifts and your body descends into a blissful peace and calm.  There’s nothing worse than a guy who comes and goes. […]

The Gay Sex Quiz

December 19th, 2011|

There’s no such thing as a Sexual IQ test, so naturally I made one up.  Hey, like I’ve always said, “If you see a hole, fill it.”  So are you an ignorant slut, a knowledgeable prude or something in between?  Take the test and find out: What is considered the “Male G-spot?” a.    the prostate b.    the frenulum c.    The wallet Where is the “Male G-spot?” a.    A couple of inches inside the anus towards the navel b.    A couple of inches inside the urethra towards the bladder c.    A couple of inches inside the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog towards the underwear section The main source of a man’s orgasmic pleasure is: a.    pelvic floor muscle contractions b.    release of semen c.    Access to your boyfriend’s AMEX card […]

The Funniest Line Anyone’s Ever Cracked Online.

December 10th, 2011|

I was on the men seeking men website, Adam4Adam.  I get a terse email:  "Did you take a sh*t yet?"   Confused, I clicked on his profile and the only picture there was of a humongous, erect, d*ck.  It took me a second, and then I just laughed and laughed!

The Average Size Of A Flaccid Penis

December 3rd, 2011|

Q: Every time I shower at the gym I obsess about the size of my dick.  Can you give me a little reassurance?    --  Size me up     Dear Size Me: You ain’t the only one worried.  Concentrate on facts and it’ll ease your anxiety.  In a recent study published in Urology, researchers [...]

How To End Sexual Stalemates

November 29th, 2011|

Q: My boyfriend and I are at sexual stalemate.  I admit we’ve got lots of emotional issues we’ve got to work out but there’s gotta be something we can do sexually to, uhm, break the log jam.  Here’s the problem:  We’ve started sexually bartering our services and it’s descended into an “I won’t do it if you won’t” or “I’ll do it if you do it first.”  So if I want my God-given right to some good head, he’ll say, “fine, blow me first then we’ll see.”  How do we get past this?   —  Want treats not tricks   Dear Treats: This reminds me of that great marriage-counseling story.  A man and woman were having marital problems so they went to see a marriage counselor, who in an attempt to find some common ground said, “Tell me about anything the two of you have in common.”

The husband spoke up and said, “Well, neither one of us sucks dicks.” […]

The Best Sex Joke Of The Year

November 23rd, 2011|

QUESTION: I thoroughly enjoyed reading your column “A Small Matter of Large Size”.  I’m so relieved to know that there are nonsuperficial, nonpenis obsessed, gay men out there.  I’m 37 y/o and like you, I have friends that make me feel as if I’m in a perpetual junior high school because all they can talk about is cock size.  I’m 6’3″ 205lbs, so I’m a pretty big guy but not well endowed.  This superficial culture makes me feel as if I have to apologize for being small.  I also have friends that their first question is, “how hung is he?”  Like you, I refuse to answer.  I just feel I cheapen my experience—and the guy—if I answer.  You’ve helped me realize that the truly good guys who are sincere and worth being with don’t care about the size of your penis but the size of your heart.   —  Grateful     Dear Grateful: I can’t believe you bought that load of shit.  I was drunk when I wrote that column!   I kid.  You brought out some great points.  I do, however, believe that you can’t be *too* sanctimonious about this issue.  Hence, my favorite joke about the size of the prize: […]