first dates

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Taking The Nerves Out of First Dates.

February 4th, 2017|

Dating can be scary. Let’s just put that out there and admit it. If you’re not looking for a hook-up, but actually want someone to spend your life with, then going on a first date might prove rather daunting. After all; you could be meeting Mr. Right, the one you’re going to be with forever. So, it’s no surprise that we get ourselves worked up into a frenzy of nerves before meeting someone for the first time. The problem is, these nerves can make grown men trip on their words, can cause the most talkative of people to become mute, and seemingly disconnect the mouth from the brain so that you start saying things without thinking first. Then, after that first mistake, the anxiety becomes even worse and things begin to unravel. How do I know this happens? Because I’ve been there many times. […]

Women are ruining sex for gay guys.

June 24th, 2009|

Ladies, if you want to torture straight men with your “No nookie without a cookie” dating strategies, fine. But we don’t want you influencing our own time-tested strategies (“Free cookies!”). I’m furious at my girlfriends. As more and more gay guys adopt their dating strategies (no sex without dating), people like me are getting less and less sex. I’m from the old school. I believe in sex before dating. There’s a reason for that. Nothing kills sexual attraction more than having dinner with a guy so dull even the corn on the cob covers its ears. Women are socialized to “hang on to it,” as a girlfriend put it, until they get something valuable in exchange. Men, on the other hand, are socialized to “let go of it.” And the exchange rate has nothing to do with it. Women have what men want, and this sets up a classic seller’s market: Huge demand and a tight supply. The twist is that the suppliers want to give it away, too, but they can’t because the market is regulated by outside forces–religion, society and empty ring fingers. So while it’s a seller’s market, even the sellers aren’t happy. Sex between men, however, is the classic example of what happens when supply meets demand:  Everybody’s happy. Last month I experienced what my girlfriends put their men through— a “forced” date. That’s when you’re forced to pay for play. Meaning, Dinner. Sound familiar, ladies? See, a straight woman says, *”I’m sorry, I can’t have sex with you until I get to know you.”* A gay man says, […]

Should you stay vertical on a first date?

April 7th, 2009|

Is chastity the hot new dating strategy? The “wait until you know someone before you get naked” approach might not be the rage on college campuses, but an increasing number of relationship gurus are advising women to heed Grandma’s wisdom, and make the guy buy the cow before you start giving away the milk. In her new book, “Not Tonight, Mr. Right” (Marlowe and Company, $13.95), sex expert Kate Taylor suggests “women who quickly jump in the sack have their hearts broken faster” and “relationships are more fun, easier and longer lasting” when you stay vertical instead of going horizontal. Men — well, those who aren’t the fathers of teenage girls — might argue against waiting, yet Taylor claims, “smart girls don’t.” Prior to preaching the “no nookie, keep-your-knickers-on-until-you’re-sure” mantra, Taylor, a Brit with a wicked sense of humor, authored several sex books. After suffering her own heartaches, Taylor awakened to the idea that, “if you sleep with a man right away, you are throwing away your best chance of making him become absolutely wild about you.” Her research reveals that men find their partner less attractive and sexy after their first roll between the sheets, but women find their partner more sexy after their first romp.  The culprit is […]