The Biggest Drawback To Mixing Drugs With Sex Is That They Make You Think Safe Sex Is A Padded Headboard.
Drugs teach different people different things. Some people learn they can be more loving when they’re on drugs. Others learn they can keep vomiting long after they think they’ve finished.
No matter what you think about drugs there’s no escaping the fact that they’re a big part of gay life. Especially its sex life. In less than a generation this country’s gone from Sex, Lies and Videotape to Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll.
Okay, Sex Drugs and Musical Theatre.
Still, sex and drugs have a lot in common. Both can be bought, sold and taken. Both can make you feel alive, injured or dead. And both end up making you snort, swallow or spit.
Sex and drugs even share orifices. No, not that one; the other one. Toys and boys aren’t the only things you can stick up your bum, you know. If you think getting pill-fucked means bottoming for someone on Viagra, think again. Let a tablet of Ecstasy or Molly crawl up your shorts and you’ll understand the true meaning of an ass-kicking high. Pray for constipation though, or the swirling will go from the dance floor to the toilet bowl.
But I digress.
Booty calls now come with booty bump options. The party ‘n play (PNP) brigade are marching through the country’s bedroom. Sounds like fun but PNP is often TNT for HIV. There’s a thin line between getting blown and getting blown up; between bottoming and bottoming out.
The biggest drawback to mixing drugs with sex is that they make you think safe sex is a padded headboard, that a condom is something you put on the market when you’re ready to move.
This, of course, puts all good-thinking men on the horns of a dilemma. Is mind-blowing sex worth a life-shattering night?
We’re thinking, we’re thinking.
Okay, we thought about it: NO. It ain’t worth it. Problem is, you can get so high you don’t know it ain’t worth it. Gay men, always attracted to three-ways, seem to be of three minds about handling the PNP with some TLC.
The first group is the “Just Say No” crowd. They say drug him with charm, not a joint. They say drug him with a smile, not a bullet.
Still, they’ve got a point. Some of us don’t need anything to sex up the sex. We’re multi-orgasmic without it.
The second group is the “Just Say Know” crowd. They’re the ones who know what they’re taking, how much they’re taking, when to start and how to stop. They never overdose and are no more likely to have unsafe sex than people who drink for a living. Er, for fun.
The third group is the “Just Say Now” crowd. They’re the ones who’d snort Sweet ‘N Low if it weren’t glue-gunned to the packet. These are the men who know the meaning of “balance” because they swing by it every ten minutes. They’re the ones who tell cops, “Well, how can I hand you my driver’s license if you won’t hold my bong?”
They’re not very bright but they’re a lot of fun.
Take them home and your bedroom will sound like half-price day at the liposuction center. Unfortunately, you’ll probably have to drop them off at the HIV clinic on your way to work. You know, the place you’ll have to stop by on the way home to get tested.
No matter which group you belong to the questions are endless: How do you party drug-free in a drug-riddled scene? How do you keep yourself safe? How do you make wise choices for yourself without judging others? How do you score Grade A Tina instead of that glorified talcum powder your friends keep pawning off on you?
So those are your three basic choices: No, Know or Now. I won’t judge but I will nudge. I want you to leave the scene with a smile on your face, not with your body on a stretcher.
Check out my best seller in the How To Have Gay Sex category: How To Bottom Like A Porn Star.